Show us Your Life

Today I am participating in Kelly's Korner: Show us your Life.

This wonderful world of blogging has not only helped me keep communication with my family and friends, it has also help me talk through my situations and find others who are going through some of the same things.

I have been ministered to by so many people through their blogs. Most of them don't even know I'm reading and have no idea how much they've helped me. It's just as simple as them telling their story and letting me follow along the way. I hope I am doing that for someone else as well.

If this is your first visit to my blog then Welcome! My name is Sara and this is our story:

My husband and I began trying to start a family five years ago. After a long year of trying, I finally became pregnant! We had one wonderful day of bliss. Then came several weeks of doctors appointments and blood tests, each time them telling me I was losing my baby. Eventually an ultrasound confirmed we had an ectopic pregnancy. I went through a series of methotrexate shots which dissolved the pregnancy. We thought that was the hardest thing we had gone through. But that's really only where our journey began...

Throughout the next few years, we continued trying to conceive naturally with no success and finally decided to take the next step to see a fertility specialist. We seem to have unexplained infertility. Since having a history of ectopic pregnancy, nobody would perform an IUI. Our next resort was IVF. We prayed over this decision and waited almost a year before we decided to go for it.

As we began our journey of IVF, we started this blog and included our family and friends in the process(One of best decisions we made!). We ended up harvesting 32 eggs and I had major hyperstimulation of my ovaries. We had our embryo transfer on our 6th wedding anniversary and we couldn't had been happier to celebrate our marriage that way.

Soon after the transfer, complications from the hyperstimulation landed me in the emergency room. That is when we found out that we were indeed pregnant!. It was confirmed a couple days later by our doctor, on my husbands birthday:)

A week or so later, we had our final ultrasound with our fertility doctor and were overjoyed to find out that we were having twins:) They would be named Lila & Cole. The next four months of pregnancy weren't without their obstacles, but nothing too bad we couldn't handle.

Then on August 20, 2009, at 22 weeks and on the day of a routine doctor appointment, my water broke. (You can read up on the events of that day here). Lila's heart had stopped beating and I had to deliver her. Cole was still doing fine but, their placentas were attached so 3 hours later he was also born.

We then went through the grueling process of planning an unexpected funeral for our babies. My heart goes out to anyone who has to go through that. We immediately signed up with a grief counselor at our church and even now, six months later, we still pop in for sessions.

We are learning every day what our "new normal" is. This journey is different for everyone. I'd never dealt with grief in this capacity before and it is slowly becoming my friend. In a good way. In a way that I'm learning how to miss my babies and reintegrate myself back into living.

We have waited a reasonable amount of time, at the suggestion of our doctors, before trying to conceive again. We have four frozen embryos left from our IVF but we are not going to pursue to use them at this time.

We would like to start trying again to grow our family and we could use every prayer we can get! We know this new journey will not be without hesitation or lack of patience. I pray for these virtues often but I am human and don't want to present myself as the "invincible woman". I am far from that. But I do believe in a God who is healing, loving, patient and invincible. And He has carried us this far, and He's not finished with me yet!

There are many gaps in this story and you are more than welcome to "catch up" with us by reading our older posts. We have learned so many things through our experiences and we hope to not "waste" it. I have a heart for people suffering through infertility and loss like never before. We know that God had a purpose with our children's lives and we are constantly looking for ways to fulfill that. I hope that our story can make other Mothers (or mothers in waiting) not feel so lonely in their struggle. I hope our story is one of hope and encouragement.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11


I want to send out a huge THANK YOU to all the bloggers out there who haved shared their struggles and their joys.

And Kelly Stamps, if you have made your way to reading this post, I want to say again, Thank You for following God's purpose for your life. You have such a heart for women, especially those with infertility, and you have encouraged me and prayed for me and I am genuinely grateful for that!