It turns out that I have a freakish sensitivity to the medication that I am taking and it has sent me into a downward spiral that I am not willing to stay in. I've had about 8 of the 10 side effects that are listed and when I called the doctor to tell them about it, they were shocked. Most patients have zero side effects.
The main side effect that I'm concerned about is depression. While I don't feel like I'm in a "deep dark place" I do see that I am void of feeling anything. When you're in a place like that, it's hard to remember what you're fighting for.
With that being said, I don't think this is the right time for bringing a child into the equation. If I had known this would happen, I could have pumped myself up enough to work through it. This has really blindsided us and I think we need to take a step back and see what happens after this medicine runs out of my system. Then we can decide if we want to try again.
I thank you all so much for your support. We couldn't walk any of this road without it. I do ask you however to please not press us about this issue. I'm not really in a place where I want to talk about it further and I will let you know when I am.
In spite of all this "heaviness", we do have some positive news on the horizon. We have signed a contract to have a house built and they have already broken ground. Things are moving along smoothly so far and we are glad to be moving forward with this part of our future.
2 comments:
Thinking about you, and this difficult decision you all had to make. You all are in my prayers.
On a lighter note- congrats on the house that is exciting news :)
thinking of you and steve....
-Lauren and Jeremy
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